blue tones / by Shelby Robinson

I've spent the majority of my life disliking (and often times) suppressing the sensitive, emotional part of myself. I thought it was a flaw, something that I should to change, something I had to fix. Why can't I be stronger? Why do things have to affect me so deeply? Why am I such a people pleaser? Why do others' moods and energies affect me so much? Why is there not a real reason or root for the way I feel? Why can't I just be happy and content all the time? And my favorite: why can't I just get over it?

It wasn't until recently that I not only began to accept ~ but to embrace ~ this part of me. To welcome it with open arms. Because it is nothing that I need to change or fix. This is who I am. A very sensitive person. And I love this part of me. Yes, often times it makes me feel deep sadness in life ~~ but it also allows me to experience a lot of deep, beautiful moments in life. It allows me to feel more connected to art, people, nature, to myself. It allows my feelings and my intuition to guide me. It allows me to feel large amounts of empathy and therefore connect deeply with others. It allows me to feel all emotions in such a way that makes life more real, raw, meaningful.

After learning more about myself, and accepting each and every little piece of who I am, none of these things sound like something I'd ever want to change. In fact, I've come to understand that this flaw is one of the most beautiful parts of me. And for that, and for this new-ish understanding, I am grateful.